1. Thou shall not have dirty finger nails, toe nails and hair.
There is this trend(or horror) that some South African men have of growing their pinkie nail(eeuw). Once I asked what was the function of this nail, apparently it is to replace the toothpick(can we have a sies man!). There is nothing sexy or humble or exciting about a man who grows his nails. Fullstop. We are not asking that you have a manicure or something but please keep them short, filed and moisturized.
2. Thou shall not have natural oudour unnecessarily.
Unless you just ran a marathon; or just arrived from work(construction, mine, etc) or from gym you have no reason to smell like you did. There is no such thing as I sweat a lot! Fix it. There are so many EDT and EDP and colognes in the market; at all prices for you to combat this problem. Oh and smelling like Lux/Protex is not allowed either!
3. Thou shall not wear training gear as casual wear!
*Sigh* I dont know who came up with this idea and made it allright for people to wear tracksuit pants and training shoes as casual wear. It simply just doesnt make sense. We can allow shorts and training shoes on a Saturday/Sunday afternoon...thats it! And no coupling tracksuit pants with the 'carvella' and muscle tops!
4. Thou shall not be ill disciplined.
This is not fashion but complements your entire image. Any man who is permanently drunk/high/broke, uses foul language, degrades himself/others, disrespects himself/others or is a hater is instantly a NO.
5. Thou shall not wear formal white shoes or belts!
This list is so long but these are the most prominent. There is something wrong about white formal shoes on a man, especially if they are matched with a white belt. There are stereotypes about men from the north wearing these; with shiny suits and all. I have seen men from KZN in white shoes too! Just stop it please. On and please no square toe shoes please!
6. Thou shall not wear heavy gold/silver/bling jewellery!
My best friend calls this 'tjarara'; its a slang Pedi word which sounds like something really wrong. If you are not a PIMP or an-up-and-coming-rapper please dont try this look. If you cannot afford the real merchandise please double-dont do this look at all.
7. Thou shall not have a gold/silver/bling tooth!
Seriously NO. It is not the 70's or 80's. Thats all.
8. Thou shall not wear size-too-small or size-too-big clothes!
Tight clothes on a man are simply horrific and hilarious; baggy clothes are sad and boring. Know your size and shape and wear accordingly. We do not want to see your jewels outlined on your pants; and we dont want to hear a wave sound everytime you pass by. For the young men, pants are meant to sit on your waist or just below your waist, NOT on your thighs or ankles.
9. Thou shall not wear crocs, slops (the ones with blue&white stripes), or white socks with dark pants!!
Crocs...if you own them and you dont suffer from bunions, lose them. They are not cute. Oh how I hate those shapeless blue&white sandal slop things, they are scary. And on the socks, there is/was/will always be only 1 Michael Jackson.
10. Thou shall not be ashy.
Remember when your mother smothered Vaseline jelly or Acquous cream on you as a toddler; yeah it was to keep your skin moisturized and healthy. Dry ashy sking is flaky. This includes hands and feet.
1. Thou shall bath/shower atleast once a day.
Ladies ladies if you have something against water and soap, you will smell bad. Our bodies react faster to situations than men; and chemicals go off faster and release foul smells if we dont refresh ourselves. Also some kind of 'smelling-si-nice' item is necessary: soap, shower gel, bath salts, deodorant, perfume, etc. A re hlapeng hle!
2. Thou shall not look sloppy at any time.
My friend used to say 'you never know who is watching'! I know, sometimes you just want to quickly go to Spar and get milk in your slippers, doek and tank top. NO. Maybe one of each at a time hmmm? My mother would kill me if I ever tried leaving the house looking like I want to be dead. Another friend of mine simply puts it like this 'its as if you were on your way to the loo, and someone said hey lets go to a party and you jumped into the car as you were!'.
3. Thou shall not have bad hair or make up.
If you are bad with makeup or hair; either get help or dont do it. Keep your hair short or your face clean (lip gloss does wonders). Bad weaves, bad hairstyles, old hairstyles, clown make up, wrong foundation shades, ect are just tacky. There are so many books, sites and people on this earth to help you look your best.
4. Thou shall shave all hairs except your eyebrows (and head)!
That thin line running over your eyes like a kid drew it ka mistake is scary. It looks like its got botox; even if you did it perfectly with a mug. 'Twizzing' your eyebrows is allowed; not removing.
Shaving armpits and other holy areas is a health must. I mean you wont die if you dont but a lot of people will appreciate it.
5. Thou shall not have a gold/silver/bling tooth!
Refer to no.7 in the men's section. Its not an investment.
6. Thou shall be confident.
Sexy is confidence; and confidence is sexy. Please stop walking like the world is on your shoulders and you waiting for the end of the world to save you from yourself. Life is great; you have power and an opportunity to be great in something everyday. So bath, titivate and step out in style!!
7. Thou shall be on trend.
No you dont have to be like Kim Kardashian or look lik a page out of Elle magazine but we all know Pepe jeans are out of fashion right? Or Spice girl shoes? And tucking your tshirts into your jeans tightly with a shiny belt? And the Freeze? The list goes on. All Im saying is look like you belong in this era atleast please.
Also please know when to wear what. That hot little mini dress is not for Monday meeting with a client; and those formal black pants are not for a picnic with friends on a Sunday.
8. Thou shall not wear transparent(see through) clothes.
*Sigh* If you are black please wear black underwear with your white clothes; if you are white wear minimal underwear with your white clothes. Flashing the public with your fiery red full panties through your white pants is disturbing. A sheer black/leopard blouse with a little peek a boo effect is ok and smart; not a pink bra with a white vest! Haibo.
9. Thou shall not wear size-too-small anything.
If you are pulling it down every 2minutes, its is small. If you cant breath in it, it is small. If you cant sit in it, it is too small. If you see rolls and dimples you didnt know you had through it, it is definately small. There is a think like between looking hot and skanky; and when it comes to clothes less fabric is not more at all.
10. Thou shall respect yourself.
Any action or activity that makes you lose respect from others is a NO. Public drunkeness, fighting, getting arrested, etc is wrong. If your mother would spank you for it then dont do it.
Thank you
Budgie
