First 8 months!

So the business is now 8 months old.  Did I think I would get here?...hmmmm I suspected while my haters(voices in my head) kept telling me I could fail.  It has been a very interesting 8 months and there are 5 more interesting months before I have a 1st birthday.  In these 8 months I have achieved more than I thought I would at Roka Roko; both business wise and personally.  There are things I have learned about myself, about people close to me and new to me; things I realise about life and my own future.

My biggest fear (which I shouldn't have but do) is having no financial support to continue.  Which in essence wont happen because I run a business that technically supports itself.  You see upon starting I had already collected all I needed to start. I had been making clothes for close to 10 years and was in my 3rd year fashion school.  I had the basics and needed some advancements to polish my product.  So the actual fear is getting out of my comfort zone about money....

I was  the dream person.  Got my matric, my degree and a job. And I was in my 6th year of being a fashion buyer/sourcing agent; and just about to probably land a management job somewhere.  So at that time things like medical aid, insurance, accounts, rates, groceries, petrol etc. were not my problem because the salary paid for them.  Technically I didn't even see them being paid because money came in on the 28th and left on the 28th; no credit control calls from anyone.

Suddenly all that falls away.  I am what I do. I am how much I do.  The performance at Roka Roko determines what I can have and what I cannot have.  The comfort zone changes or disappears.  This is absolutely traumatic for a person who left home and jumped into a job with all benefits. Everything has to be degraded, managed and controlled critically. It is daunting I wont lie even a bit. 

The funny thing is the day I found myself moneyless, I calmed down. All the stress leading to that day as the money depleted little by little died because it is what it is.  What can you do.  If you get frenzied you sort of stop hearing God leading you; you miss the way out of that little hole that feels like a prison.  I realised well I have no cash and need to make cash.  So lets Roka Roko...