Brain format.

Well...

This post is going to be like a testimonial, or a confession of some sorts. I'm giggling as I write this(unfortunately there is no emoticon for that!).

This week I realised once you have a near death experience, you simply fear nothing.  Even the things you think you fear, are just illusions really. Now this state of mind is ofcourse both scary and amazing. I mean you spend most of your life being in fear of something or everything, in all the processes of existence you are taught from day 1 to have an element of fear. Then one day you come close to experiencing the one thing most humans claim to fear, DEATH, and then God say 'watch out...I'm bawsss not you'. Can you imagine!

My near death experience came in the form of a vein exploding in my brain. Something I didn't even think was possible. When the doctor told me what I had suffered after surviving atleast two hours of hospital admin...while unconscious that is, I just said what is that? So I didn't have the opportunity to panic or what not. I just thought ergh I'm sick, less time in real life.  Because you see, somewhere , somehow I had gotten myself to that place. All the things I had done with my life, led me there. To that bed. With that complication.

My body seemed to thank me. And I agreed with it.  I got 3 months off work!!! And didn't care. Honestly I didn't. I decided to see it as a sabbatical; where all my family and friends visit me everyday...whoop whoop.  I allowed myself to be.  I was ok with the complication, understood I had a 50 /50 chance of ever making it out 100%.  And yet again I was just fine. I was so ok I was literally impatient the day of the surgery(which involved going into my brain). I was like can we get this done so I know if I'm making it or not. And that attitude got  me here, functioning just fine.

So today I am living a life wayyyyyyy different from the day I collapsed. And its about to change again. The change was my biggest fear ever, but it has come to my door and I cannot say no no more. I simply have to ride the storm. I'm not sure how to explain it to you, but I am a new person. Some of those who knew be before will agree with me, but I am a work in progress. When major things happen (accident, loss of loved ones, robbery, etc.) I now simply let them be. I sit as long as I have to to deal with the numbness in my legs; my time limit for that is a day.  Then I cry as long as I have to. Then my brain does something I never did before. It goes silent. Absolutely just silent. Then it starts finding solutions to the predicament at hand. Before I would dwell on my mistakes, stay numb from fear and shock for months, and stay angry for yearrrssssss. Nah, that's over!

I learned
- that life is just short. No joke. I'm 29. 40 is 10 years away! Then 50.....
- that my life is precious. Yes I'm here for a reason, I can make that reason worthy or a curse.
- shit happens. DEAL
- I'm not for everyone. Some love me and some don't. BLAH
- nothing absolutely nothing is bigger than GOD.
- you are able to face most things in life. And come out new and victorious.
- people around you are Gods angels. Take care of them, and let them take care of you.
- my favourite, life is too short for bullshit. Don't take it.

I learned from my father that you need to work hard to have whatever you want. I learned from my sister that you can sleep on someone's couch and still run a business that leads you to drive the car you want in less than 5 years. I learned from my mom that she believes in me no matter what; I could start a dog farm tomorrow and she would support me...and she doesn't like dogs! I can tell you so many lessons I've learned form many many of the amazing people around me; and thank the Lord I'm blessed with amazing souls; BUT the best lesson I learned was from me. I learned that I am way way way stronger than I think. My name defines that.

So I say if you have had a life threatening experience(or watched a loved one go through it), you are blessed. You are awake. And that is something most people lose at birth. When you come out on the other side, allow the change to take place. You will be amazed at what lives in you.  The entire whole universe is in you, you need to give it a chance to work with you. No hardship is by mistake, it is exactly what you need at that time to become what your purpose requires you to be to pursue it to perfection.

Ta
Me

Vukani 2014 Competition

 

Vukani 2014 Finalist Range - Free to be me

 

It is the Sunday after the Saturday I had been stressing about for 3months.  Thinking, considering, questioning, freaking out and all others I have no words for.  This is my first national competition, last competition was at Wits university while I was part of the Wits Fashion Design Society.  That year and day I won.

Being a finalist was in all honesty a surprise; I knew I could get in but when it happened it was like WOW. Sort of like being pregnant for 9months and still being surprised you are a mom when they arrive.  I was surprised because I have been out of competing for approximately 8 years; had been absent from fashion school for a year and Roka Roko is only but 9 months old.

The show was all a fashion show is. Models. Organizers with organizers.  Fabric. Threads. Needles. Make up. Weaves.  Strangers that became new friends. Honourables. Heels. Tempers. Coffee. Lots of coffee. I survived. Simply because I love this space.  The back stage at a fashion show is just pure fun for me.  All the drama, fast pace, colours, fumes and frustrations make my blood run.  It is my form of a concert!

The Roka Roko range is based on human existence amongst fauna and flora.  The plants that feed us and keep us breathing, the water that nourishes us and the sun that gives us life.  Lace is used as it is this years biggest fabric; coupled with a bit of leather for a bit of edginess. The print is to incorporate the colour that is Africa, the diversity that is the 2014 Africa.  The gold accessories symbolise the boldness of our people and strength of the African heart.

Though I didn't win any of the available awards, I learned a lot. And when I review my range I can see where I fell short and where I can improve; with the help of the judges ofcourse. What I know now is:

- I need to improve my finishing to the point that I cant even tell if I made it or not.
- I need to improve my creativity further.  Remove those limits. Be more than just free. Rebellion
- I need to bring more of Brigette into my work without forgetting the mandate
- I need to ensure the fabrics used are of best quality and exude that to the eye
- Need to create garments that say I'm expensive and durable and hottt!
- Remember you cannot do everything alone.  It will drain you. This dream is too humongous.

All of these are mere adjustments in my work; and I count myself as fortunate to have learned these at an early stage of Roka Roko. 

Also met Azaria Khoza, Isaac, Kelvin, Lerato, Jimmy (BantuWear) and other fashion players. 

Last but not least congratulations to Bosebo, the winner to 2014 Vukani.  Her range was just that, the winners range.  Very proud to have people who can produce such excellence and inspire us all. May God grant her more success going forward.

The high fashion full length dress (Model - Michillay)

Eish Eish Eish

This phrase explains my feelings when I experience a mini heart attack related to Roka Roko.

The mini heart attack: When a client calls me to say the item produced doesn't fit. And they are more than 45km away from me...or worse 600km far away.

The heart attack is caused by the fact that what I do is not a job,it is not a way to make money(even though it makes money), it is  not something Im doing while waiting for a better opportunity.  It is my passion.  It is my calling if I may say.  It is Brigette.  And I put my name on each item with pride and satisfaction that I have done it justice.  So alas such a call from any client is like a moment of 'ho' with a palm in my face. The cherry on the heart attack is the fact that the distance ensures that I am unable to correct the situation. Sigh.

I start questioning what could be wrong. Is the client putting it on correctly? Did I make a measurement mistake?  Did we take in too much some where? Did I even use the correct pattern? Then it hits me, I didn't insist on all the necessary steps to be taken.  Steps which avoid such heart attacks.   Steps like measurements, first fitting and last fitting.  If one of these is missed, it opens up the chance for a heart attack.  

The issue with working in the real world with real people; is that real things happen. You can have the time table set out and ready to perfection; but life will happen.  Most times last fittings never happen.  That is what happened this weekend; to cause my heart attack last night.  We miss them because people work, people have to be in places at certain times, people change their minds, I get held up somewhere, delays come into play for serious matters, etc. 

Funny thing is every time this happens I make a mental note never to do it again.  Until a client stands in front of me asking for an item I so want to make...and the creativity takes over.  I want to make clothes for those here, far, for tomorrow, next week....even yesterday.  But in reality I need to think strategically and logically(I am an artist hle!). And learn to say NO. Learn to remember my clients just want to look amazing; they are not interested how it happens because they pay a fee for that.  I must make it happen. And if they discover its not happening the night before the event...I get a  mini heart attack because I have failed my client.  The no. 1 priority here.

Then while I'm heart attacking myself I get a call about tomorrows pick ups.  Then  I remember in business, we fail and get up.  There simply is no time for wallowing.  You correct if you can.  You compensate if you can. Anything but you must move on.  Getting held up on a mistake you made last week will only create more mistakes this week.  I will deal with my mistake, will learn from it but today I have a chiffon dress to finish, a bride and her bridesmaids to fit, a cousin's pant dungaree to finish... so lets Roka Roko.

First 8 months!

So the business is now 8 months old.  Did I think I would get here?...hmmmm I suspected while my haters(voices in my head) kept telling me I could fail.  It has been a very interesting 8 months and there are 5 more interesting months before I have a 1st birthday.  In these 8 months I have achieved more than I thought I would at Roka Roko; both business wise and personally.  There are things I have learned about myself, about people close to me and new to me; things I realise about life and my own future.

My biggest fear (which I shouldn't have but do) is having no financial support to continue.  Which in essence wont happen because I run a business that technically supports itself.  You see upon starting I had already collected all I needed to start. I had been making clothes for close to 10 years and was in my 3rd year fashion school.  I had the basics and needed some advancements to polish my product.  So the actual fear is getting out of my comfort zone about money....

I was  the dream person.  Got my matric, my degree and a job. And I was in my 6th year of being a fashion buyer/sourcing agent; and just about to probably land a management job somewhere.  So at that time things like medical aid, insurance, accounts, rates, groceries, petrol etc. were not my problem because the salary paid for them.  Technically I didn't even see them being paid because money came in on the 28th and left on the 28th; no credit control calls from anyone.

Suddenly all that falls away.  I am what I do. I am how much I do.  The performance at Roka Roko determines what I can have and what I cannot have.  The comfort zone changes or disappears.  This is absolutely traumatic for a person who left home and jumped into a job with all benefits. Everything has to be degraded, managed and controlled critically. It is daunting I wont lie even a bit. 

The funny thing is the day I found myself moneyless, I calmed down. All the stress leading to that day as the money depleted little by little died because it is what it is.  What can you do.  If you get frenzied you sort of stop hearing God leading you; you miss the way out of that little hole that feels like a prison.  I realised well I have no cash and need to make cash.  So lets Roka Roko...

Loving your clothes

Clothes need love too, that is why they have that little piece of fabric with writing at the back, side, etc.  No its not a factory malfunction; is is advise on how to best treat your garment; allowing it to look at its best for longer. Here is a simple list of clothing maintenance for the ones lazy to read the label:

1. You need the right equipment.  These include a washing machine/washing hands; the right soap (auto/hand wash clothes washing powder); a clothing line, pegs, an iron, an ironing board, hangers, closet, and washing basket.  These are simple items most households have; but most people omit some of these. 

2.  You need to know how to use these equipment property; and practise these actions properly.  Some materials shouldn't be in water for too long (e.g dyed cottons); some should not be ironed (printed areas), some should not be tumble dryed (wool), and there are different levels of ironing heats for different types of fabrics. 

3.  You need to have your coats/suits dry cleaned.  Please do not try to wash these yourself in the washing machine/bath tub.  You will destroy the coat; and will struggle to correct this mistake.  Also this should be done regularly; not once a year for winter's sake!

4.  Clothes don't need extreme sun for 12 hours.  If you cannot stand in the sun for 12hours; neither can fabrics.  They only need the right amount of heat; and only until they are dry.  Leaving them on the line will destroy the colour (sun or rain damage); and the shape (pulling of the pegs and strength of gravity).  I also am not a fan of the tumble dryer; go green...hang them outside.

5.  You need to iron/press your clothes.  A function I do not love but very important.  Ironing sets the shape, kills germs, and gives you a 'i know what I'm doing' look.  If the iron has black marks on the bottom...buy a new one.  The iron should have a steaming function; which should be used at most times.

6.  You should probably was your clothes regularly; especially before ironing them(don't forget to dry them before ironing!).  In summer after 1 wear; the dress will start smelling like you after a marathon.  Do not wash them every day/week; just every 2 weeks maybe.  Don't forget to add softener; they feel good afterwards and smell fresh too.

7.  Don't abuse your clothes.  Do not wear heels for a jog; do not dance in the rain in your faux leather pumps, do not borrow your size34 jacket to your size38 friend, etc. You will be arrested for domestic abuse.

8.  Do have your clothes altered, tailored and mended.  A hole in a garment is a sign of negligence.  There is no need to look like you are poor if you are not.  If it is too long; too wide; get them altered to fit; if they are too tight, too short...don't wear it!

9.  Give away.  If you haven't worn it for a year (most extreme); you don't need it.  Give it away.  If you buy more, give something away.  This will keep your wardrobe up to date, not stale looking/smelling, and will put a smile on someone else.

10.  Do not sleep in your clothes.  Never. This includes your bras girls.  All you are doing is stretching them; decreasing their lifespan.  Buy pyjamas if you must; and sleeping bra (if they exist);  or just go commando at night; its cleaner for your sheets too.

Ta,
Brigette

Back to Corporate

As we return to work, some of us are at the risk of receiving a talking to for the state of our attire in our place of work.  I for one have been in this situation on more occasions than I care to remember.  I have fears of moulding into a dream corporate employee, therefore dreading January’s ‘back to work’ theme.  So I am still wearing my sunglasses and have Oskido’s ‘Tsa Mandebele’ blasting out of my car all the way to the office parking lot.

The energy that envelopes us as the 1^st of December hits every year is like a slow drug.   We all settle into a relaxed mood starting from the time we wake up, to the food we consume and to what we wear.  December is famous for heat;  therefore the less fabric we have on our bodies; and the more festive, colourful, and creative we are, the better.  Unfortunately as with most things in life, December ends too. With a bang.  This bang should actually be the announcement of prude January’s arrival; but we take it as the celebration of the previous year; only planning to say goodbye to December in mid January…or May!

In the 6 days that I have been at the office in the lovely new 2013, I have realised I have nothing appropriate to wear to work.  Every morning is a mini fashion show of my spring/summer weekend inspired clothes.  Most of the time they are too short or too tight for the office; and sometimes just do not fit thanks to December.  I tried borrowing some items from my winter stash, but the January weather is having none of that.

The good news is fashion doesn’t die just because December leaves us; and there are ways to survive January at the workplace.  The core items for office work are: Women – formal pants, pencil skirts, shirts, formal jacket, smart dresses and smart shoes; Men – lots of formal pants, lots of shirts.  This list gives me boredom palpitations.   I, of course, do not own any of these; well at least not in the colours/styles defined as corporate.  At this point I kind of envy the men; 2 simple items work for many of life’s events.

The above can be accessorized of course.  The most important fact of fashion right now is colour and print: stripes, polka dots, green, electric blue, the tangerine/coral family seem to be trending high with the ladies lately.  But most important, and the only way to fool your colleagues, is your accessories, shoes and the combinations of your pieces.  It is very possible to wear the same skirt twice in one week without them realizing (unless you work for a core fashion driven house!).  By simply changing the other items like shoes, neckpiece, belt, earrings, headscarf, blouse, etc you could overcome corporate culture.  This is quite handy right now as we know January is not the wealth month at all.

So smile, zip those black pants, strap on the electric blue kitten heels, don the coral earrings and keep the volume on your radio really low as you park next to your boss!

Brigette

My first Wedding Dress

I cannot quite believe this myself yet; that I have eventually been able to execute an entire wedding dress, veil and all.

This wedding dress that I finally had the opportunity to make had been a promise since Grade9 by a friend and classmate.  Of course only said as a teen promise; never knowing we were sowing a seed for the future.

The one thing we both were sure of was that it would have some bling.  The bride is a lover of all things that shine, more so than all other ladies I know.  We also knew it had to be the most dazzling dress to execute the most beautiful bride ever.

The commencement date was agreed as June 2012 but of course as life always has it we finally started in September.  After searching for the correct shade, shine and price for the lace to be draped over the duchess.

I personally spent approximately 2months building up the guts and strength to finally take on this major task.  Wedding dresses are more stressful as they are so close to the bride's heart, and are one of the major main attractions at the wedding, and in this case it was for a friend for a promise made when I was only 14 years old.

I kept the dress with me for a week before finally reporting that is was completed, again wanting to ensure perfection.  Then completed the veil.

The dress is a fishtail design; with a lace draped over the bodice and a full tulle skirt.  It is lined, boned, and has a base of duchess.  The finishings include pearl buttons along the zip line at the centre back, the actual dress ending on the strapless dress line, the lace continuing to the shoulders exposing them, veiling over the tulle skirt, a diamante comb holding the extra long at the back- but short in the front veil.

I want to thank God for this opportunity and I truly believe it will bring me more blessings; I also want to thank Mrs. Daphne P Zulu for the opportunity and trust she put in my hands and ability as a new designer with most probably the biggest day of her life.

So don't hesitate to contact me for your wedding dress! Bridesmaid dresses and within a year I will be demanding your groom's suit orders too.

With love
Brigette